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about

This started with the notion that all thrash music seemed really anti-authority. In the interests of being truly equal to everyone, I decided to write a totally right-wing, pro-dictatorship protest song. And what’s a better model of a dictatorship than a feudal state? Thus, ‘serfs suck!’ Later when I got bored of thrash, I made parts kind of funky, so it’s not as good a parody of that style of music, but it’s got more dynamics and you can actually hear the lyrics. The pseudo-medieval melody I added this year. Why a Valley Grrrl is doing the bridge I have no idea. Hey, I don’t make the rules. Note that I made ‘peasant’ rhyme with ‘pleasant’ years before the Great Kat.

lyrics

Live in a shack, your teeth are black
Work all day, get a flog for your pay
Your knees gone lame, earwigs in your brain
Wear rags full of fleas, you all look the same!

Serfs suck!
Serfs suck!
Your brain's gone, you're just a peon
Nice life, you stinking jerk
Nice life, you stupid serf
Serfs suck!
Peasants suck!

Your smell is unpleasant: you're just a peasant
Kiss the King's ass, you know it won't last
Got an ugly family, don't even have your own tree
Eat a lot of dirt, don't know your ABC's

Slave to the fields, King makes you kneel
Just another peasant: Have some oatmeal
You're so oppressed, you look like Hermann Hesse
If you were really exploited, you could be a hairdresser

Serfs suck!
Serfs suck!
Your brain's gone, you're just a peon
Nice life, you stinking jerk
Nice life, you stupid serf
Serfs suck!
Peasants suck!

VALLEY GRRRL (materializing somehow in mid-song): "Like, I mean, you're just perpetuating the, you know, outdated imperialist, capitalist system... who do you think you are anyway? Louie the 8th? Henry the 4th? Johnny the forty--- hey none of that, you--- Look at yourself dude. Grody to the max! You know? Talk about class structure... Gag me you capitalist! Nice economy. You can't even feed your own wife, you sexist, but you think you're some tubular, hot shit 'ontra-pan-oor' cus you got one more piece of rubble than the next peasant! Up yours buddy. Chairman McMao would be appalled! Grody to the fucking capitalist-roader max, dude! Guy!"

Work in dirt till you die: when you're having fun time flies
Knights and squires they piss on you, throw rotten ham and eggs upon you
The sheep all run away, Friar Tuck makes you pay
Stepped on by a horse, get disease of course

Servant till you die, you don't even try
And ignorant fool, peasants aren't so cool
Another King's slave, dig your own grave
Nice hoe you've got; I hope you rot!
Serfs suck!
Serfs suck!
Your brain's gone, you're just a peon
Nice life, you stinking jerk
Nice life, you stupid serf
Serfs suck!
Peasants suck!

credits

from The E​-​Z​-​Boy History of Man, released January 1, 1989

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schultzzz California

One-man-band! Home recordings! Small town alienation! Absurd humor and musical complexity! Various levels of quality! Songs (as opposed to albums) free DL.

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