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about

Myself and David Katz wrote the lyrics back at UC Santa Cruz. The genesis of the song is the connotations of the word ‘rule’: to rule is to dominate in a specifically Junior High, male, hard-rock-but-not-necessarily-metal, pg-13, carved-into-the-desktop kind of way. The idea of some 13 year old geek using ‘rule’ to apply to the ass-kicking properties of the rhombus, and carving that on his desk, was to appealing to pass up!

lyrics

Rhombus' rule: A=BH
Rhombus' rule like King Henry the Eighth

Ellipses suck, parallelograms too
Don't even think about trapezoids
Cus rhombus' rule

You think it's a trapezoid just cus it's got four sides
But congruency is paramount so ram it up your snout

Rhombus' kick ass:
King of the quads
How long can you last
You parallelogram clods?

I say that they rule, it's geometry
You 'minus' well repent, cus it's proved mathematically

Acute angles and obtuse as well
So the area's half the product of the 'diag-o-nels'

Rhombus' shred, I elucidate
It's in the theorem, I'll brook no debate

It's got sharp sides: a preternatural plane
Ramming the parabolas so it causes them pain

It's not just any plane
It's not just any plane
It's not just any plane
I'll say it again

Rhombus' reign over the Second Dimension
And they have no Anal Retention
Anal Retention in the Second Dimension

Parabolic curves don't deserve a mention
God damn that rhombus is a 'fine' invention!

Get one today cus rhombus' rule
Carve it on the desk at your junior high school
Cross out Def Leppard, Night Ranger and Queen
Write the scripture that's holy
Cross out the obscene

If it's got power like to kill and bomb us...
George Bush's head is a rhombus
Geraldo's dick is a rhombus
Yassir Arafat's nipple is a rhombus

There you go, wouldn't you be pompous
If one day, you could say, you had a rhombus?
Rhombus' rule, like it or not
They're the best polygons that we've got

Rah, rah, rhombus!
Go! Fight! Win!
Rah, rah, rhombus!
It'll melt your skin
Rah, rah, rhombus!
Kick your shin
Rah, rah, rhombus!
Do you in
Rah, rah, rhombus!
Go! Fight! Bisect!
Rah, rah, rhombus!
You're so erect
Rah, rah, rhombus!
Go! Fight! Formulate!
Boo! Hiss! Ellipse!
Go far, far away
From the rhombus and close to Doris Day

You laugh cus a rhombus ain't got no head
But a well placed rhombus could knock you dead
Rhombus to the knee, rhombus to the groin
More than annoyin': positively destroyin'
Rhombus to the kidney, rhombus to the eye
Rhombus' are neat when I watch you die

Remember forever, that you heard it here first
You know the equation so forget all the worst
C'mon everybody sing it one time
Grab your partner and do the Funky Rhombus!

credits

from Phil Collins Naked (a real letdown), released June 30, 1989

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schultzzz California

One-man-band! Home recordings! Small town alienation! Absurd humor and musical complexity! Various levels of quality! Songs (as opposed to albums) free DL.

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